Waiting to Exhale Epiphany

Pretty and Sexy have decided to tag team on this blogging gig. Our goal is to engage in real conversation. I had an epiphany while watching Waiting to Exhale a couple of days ago. I shared my thoughts with TOY CLOSET NYC.  We are pretty candid there and thought we would share some of our thoughts…

ENJOY!

Waiting to Exhale Epiphany

I remember hearing Oprah say “A person should re-read books during different times of their life”. Supposedly a book at 15 reads differently at 25 and that same book will look totally different at 40.

Read the rest at TOY CLOSET NYC BLOG

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The Art of Conversation is an alternative to the traditional forms of entertainment to bring people together while incorporating networking, social activity, and philanthropy.

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Sexual Fluidity: She’s into MEN, She’s into Women.

Men and Women sexuality  are different according to a recent article by Ian Kenner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.

Actress Cynthia Nixon (Star of SITC) made headlines recently when she said during an interview that she “chooses” to be a lesbian.

“I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better,” she said. “For me, it is a choice.”

Read more about Sexual Fluidity here.

According to Lisa Diamond women are a lot different from men when it comes to sexuality because of the following:

– Non-exclusivity in attractions: can find either gender sexually attractive
– Changes in attractions: can suddenly find a man or woman sexually attractive after having been in a long-term relationship with the other

– Attraction to the person, not the gender

Do you think Women are a little more open to sexuality than Men? What are your thoughts?

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WHERE ALL THE GOOD MEN AT?

This past Tuesday, we hosted our first Conversation of the year. Dr. Alduan Tartt had a little heart to heart with the Art of Conversation. It was an amazing event. More details will come in the near future.

He made an interesting comment:

“Ladies,  Black Enterprise yearly convention normally has a ratio of 60:40 men to women! The reason you didn’t know is because your girl who went didn’t tell you.”

As a woman I never considered checking out a conference to meet men. I only thought “groupies” did that; but the ratios of 60:40 has a girl thinking “HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!”

 You will never meet the man of your dreams running in packs. Hanging out with your Sorors at your sorority events. He’s not at your favorite coffee shop or boutique. You might luck up on him out and about but sometimes you have to put a little work in.

 He went on to say that women should go to the places that men frequent. Men are not hanging out at the places that we frequent. Go to a business seminar, most men are all about making money. Volunteer to serve breakfast at the men’s ministry monthly meeting (you look like a SAINT and get a chance to mix and mingle). Go to sporting events and have fun (don’t be thirsty at the events).

Last but not least LEAVE the pack mentality at home. NO MAN WANTS TO APPROACH YOU WHEN YOU ARE WITH ALL YOUR GIRLS! That’s a buzz kill according to most men.

 

He pressed the point to LIVE your life. Have FUN. Be COOL, CONFIDENT, and BOLD and you will attract that GOOD MAN. Can you add to our list of places a woman should go to meet a GREAT GUY? 

The Art of Conversation

The Art of Conversation is an alternative to the traditional forms of entertainment to bring people together while incorporating networking, social activity, and philanthropy.

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Roland Martin + Joking = Reprimand or an Opportunity to Discuss Homophobia!

Today one of the Art’s very own Iva Williams lead a very thought-provoking conversation on homophobia in the African-American community. Homophobia perpetuates fear that put lives in danger. Some men have a sense of shame and fear of their sexuality. Living in the closet is a reality for many Americans.

As a feminist, I think about the women who are having unprotected sex with men who are living a double life. It is quite frightening to think of any of my sisters, friends, acquaintances having to deal with a man who is living a double life. I feel that  it is HIGH time for African-Americans to have an honest conversation about sexuality. Let’s stop making people feel bad for being themselves. Creating a sense of fear/intimidation hurts not only homosexuals but heterosexuals. Women and Men are dying daily because of fear. 

I could get really deep but I choose to discuss Roland Martin today. It is common to hear gay jokes/slurs. Most times we just laugh and keep it moving. This past weekend Roland Martin had one of those moments while watching the Super Bowl. He tweeted to his fans the following: “people should “smack the ish” out of any male fans of an underwear ad starring David Beckham.”. Most of us have fallen victim to saying something on twitter or my personal fav FACEBOOK and thinking “Wow, I probably should have not said that or maybe that was too much!“. Roland had such a moment. I am sure he was kidding. I am sure he did not mean any harm. But a JOKE might very well cause him his JOB with CNN. 

CNN announced Wednesday that it is suspending Roland Martin in the wake of the pundit’s controversial Super Bowl tweets.

Wow, I pray that Roland makes an apology and he can get his job back. But brothers and sisters Homosexuals feel pain like anyone else. Let’s use this episode with Roland Martin as a learning opportunity. Let’s work on our  issues with HOMOPHOBIA. We have countless men and women living in the closet. Living double lives. Placing others in harm’s way because they are too afraid to embrace their sexuality.

It’s 2012. If you are GAY STAND UP AND BE PROUD. If you are HOMOPHOBIC; you might want to check yourself before you WRECK YOURSELF. THINK ABOUT IT!

Read More about Roland Martin’s Suspension on the Huffington Post.

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Did you know today is NATIONAL BLACK HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

Today, as the Black community recognizes the 12th Annual National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, we stand at the crossroads of heightened awareness, education, and potential eradication. To understand the magnitude of being in such a positive position, it is imperative that we examine how far we’ve come and how close we find ourselves to alleviating the stranglehold that HIV/AIDS has held on our communities.

Read the rest here: In America, Black AIDS Institute is WINNING the WAR!

Written by: FRIEND OF THE ART Kirsten Savali-West

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Who should I LOVE more: Mama or Wifey?

It’s funny how there are certain questions in life that you never think about until you have to. I found myself faced with one of those questions the other day: Who do I love more my mama or my wife?

Read the rest at The Lovers Rocque

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Ladies Who DATE!

Have you ever noticed how the moment someone gets married, all of a sudden they become an expert on relationships and dating?  Really, it’s as if married people suddenly have all of the answers and their single friends seek their advice.  Well, I am here as your newly minted non-expert!  When it comes to dating, I have definitely had my share of troubles and triumphs.   But I’m not writing this as a relationship guru.  I’m writing this for the ladies who date.

Read more: Ladies who Date!

The Art of Conversation

The Art of Conversation is an alternative to the traditional forms of entertainment to bring people together while incorporating networking, social activity, and philanthropy.

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How to Have an Affair- From a Woman’s Point of View

How to Have an Affair- From a Woman’s Point of View

Let me first start by saying I do not condone cheating, but I think if you are going to do it, then do it right.  First, men often get caught cheating because they lose interest and or stop paying attention to their mate.  So, remain consistent.  Don’t stop having sex.  Continue to do the things that you did before the desire to cheat arose.

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Pretty Girls Rock Dresses®

Music filled my home growing up. Some of my fondest memories include waking up on Saturday mornings to tune in to SOUL TRAIN. I would sing the songs and try to dance along with the dancers. My mama and daddy would pause in front of the tv and talk about how they used to watch the Jackson 5, Stevie Wonder, Marvin, and others on Soul Train. How our neighbor Joe Miles was an actual Soul Train dancer!!!!

 

I am saddened to hear that founder Don Cornelius committed suicide this morning at the age of 74. My heart dropped. My mind flashed to the mornings of my youth that included house chores and music. How excited I was to see KRISS KROSS and Da Brat drop “DA BOMB” on Soul TRAIN. I can remember crushing on Tevin Campbell as he crooned on the Soul Train stage. Let’s not forget my BOY BAND CRUSH…

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Are You Rising to Your Calling?

As a small business consultant, one of the things we talked to our clients about is defining and developing a mission statement for their desired organization or company. We talk to them about how clear and concise it should be and how it should embody what they hope others should expect to get from affiliation with their organizations.

Last month I remember hearing Norman Schuchman, a business broker and consultant who was instrumental in helping the Alabama Gulf Coast rebound from the oil crisis, speak. He asked the business owners in the room if they had developed their mission statements. Most of the business owners, myself included, nodded their heads proudly feeling that they were on top of their games. And then he asked a follow up question, “How many of you have a personal mission statement?” Many of them looked around or lowered their heads. I hesitantly raised my hand, feeling sort of out of place for that moment (much because I like to lurk in the shadows). He said that the personal mission statement is actually just as important, if not more important than having a business mission statement.

For about a year now, I’ve developed a personal mission statement for my life which is: To diligently work to create positive results from all negative experiences. You see, my life like many others, has been paved with numerous hardships, losses, and negative comments. And while I could allow them to throw me into an abyss of self-pity.  I have faith in God and believe that “All things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28. Therefore, I know there’s a way to put a positive spin on ALL of the negative things that happen in your life.

The people that I loved and lost: God has shown me how to use the good experiences and advice they shared to better my life. I’m able to empathize with people who experience loss and listen to them because of it.

The divorce I experienced: I let God use me to help those who feel like they can’t make it if a spouse leaves them, to carry on. God has enabled me the ability to help those who feel like divorce is the best option to scripturally guide them. And I’m so blessed to see so many marriages being saved. God can do it, if you let him.

Have you determined what your mission is? Have you stopped to even consider what the calling on your life is? What do you want it to be? Have you asked God to help you fulfill that mission? If not, why not start today? The choice is yours. You can choose to be miserable and wallow in all of the negative things that have happened to you. Or you can rejoice in those hardships, and let them polish you up to shine bright.

Don’t know what that mission is? One piece of advice is – You can never go wrong with a life mission that is pleasing to you and in accordance to God’s will for your life. When is the last time you consulted God about it? Ask him to help you determine your mission for life and he will guide you (Matthew 7:7) Just remember when you ask the question, make certain you are opening to quietly listening for his answer.

 May God bless your day and remainder of your week. 

 

Tanisha Rankins is a motivational speaker, encouraging diligence to create positive results from negative situations. Having faced and overcome consistent adversity, Rankins attributes her positivity and resilience to her strong faith in God. Through her own experience with divorce, Rankins now serves as a coach for those who are/have gone through divorce/separation. In her weekly blog, “Divorced…But Not By Choice”, she speaks candidly about the negative effects of divorce and gives advice to help others recover from it in a healthy manner.

For more information on Tanisha Rankins, feel free to check out her website, www.TanishaRankins.com, She can be contacted at info@tanisharankins.com to send inquiries.

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