Category Archives: Relationships

Sexual Fluidity: She’s into MEN, She’s into Women.

Men and Women sexuality  are different according to a recent article by Ian Kenner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.

Actress Cynthia Nixon (Star of SITC) made headlines recently when she said during an interview that she “chooses” to be a lesbian.

“I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better,” she said. “For me, it is a choice.”

Read more about Sexual Fluidity here.

According to Lisa Diamond women are a lot different from men when it comes to sexuality because of the following:

– Non-exclusivity in attractions: can find either gender sexually attractive
– Changes in attractions: can suddenly find a man or woman sexually attractive after having been in a long-term relationship with the other

– Attraction to the person, not the gender

Do you think Women are a little more open to sexuality than Men? What are your thoughts?

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The Art of Conversation is an alternative to the traditional forms of entertainment to bring people together while incorporating networking, social activity, and philanthropy.

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This past Tuesday, we hosted our first Conversation of the year. Dr. Alduan Tartt had a little heart to heart with the Art of Conversation. It was an amazing event. More details will come in the near future.

He made an interesting comment:

“Ladies,  Black Enterprise yearly convention normally has a ratio of 60:40 men to women! The reason you didn’t know is because your girl who went didn’t tell you.”

As a woman I never considered checking out a conference to meet men. I only thought “groupies” did that; but the ratios of 60:40 has a girl thinking “HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!”

 You will never meet the man of your dreams running in packs. Hanging out with your Sorors at your sorority events. He’s not at your favorite coffee shop or boutique. You might luck up on him out and about but sometimes you have to put a little work in.

 He went on to say that women should go to the places that men frequent. Men are not hanging out at the places that we frequent. Go to a business seminar, most men are all about making money. Volunteer to serve breakfast at the men’s ministry monthly meeting (you look like a SAINT and get a chance to mix and mingle). Go to sporting events and have fun (don’t be thirsty at the events).

Last but not least LEAVE the pack mentality at home. NO MAN WANTS TO APPROACH YOU WHEN YOU ARE WITH ALL YOUR GIRLS! That’s a buzz kill according to most men.


He pressed the point to LIVE your life. Have FUN. Be COOL, CONFIDENT, and BOLD and you will attract that GOOD MAN. Can you add to our list of places a woman should go to meet a GREAT GUY? 

The Art of Conversation

The Art of Conversation is an alternative to the traditional forms of entertainment to bring people together while incorporating networking, social activity, and philanthropy.

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Roland Martin + Joking = Reprimand or an Opportunity to Discuss Homophobia!

Today one of the Art’s very own Iva Williams lead a very thought-provoking conversation on homophobia in the African-American community. Homophobia perpetuates fear that put lives in danger. Some men have a sense of shame and fear of their sexuality. Living in the closet is a reality for many Americans.

As a feminist, I think about the women who are having unprotected sex with men who are living a double life. It is quite frightening to think of any of my sisters, friends, acquaintances having to deal with a man who is living a double life. I feel that  it is HIGH time for African-Americans to have an honest conversation about sexuality. Let’s stop making people feel bad for being themselves. Creating a sense of fear/intimidation hurts not only homosexuals but heterosexuals. Women and Men are dying daily because of fear. 

I could get really deep but I choose to discuss Roland Martin today. It is common to hear gay jokes/slurs. Most times we just laugh and keep it moving. This past weekend Roland Martin had one of those moments while watching the Super Bowl. He tweeted to his fans the following: “people should “smack the ish” out of any male fans of an underwear ad starring David Beckham.”. Most of us have fallen victim to saying something on twitter or my personal fav FACEBOOK and thinking “Wow, I probably should have not said that or maybe that was too much!“. Roland had such a moment. I am sure he was kidding. I am sure he did not mean any harm. But a JOKE might very well cause him his JOB with CNN. 

CNN announced Wednesday that it is suspending Roland Martin in the wake of the pundit’s controversial Super Bowl tweets.

Wow, I pray that Roland makes an apology and he can get his job back. But brothers and sisters Homosexuals feel pain like anyone else. Let’s use this episode with Roland Martin as a learning opportunity. Let’s work on our  issues with HOMOPHOBIA. We have countless men and women living in the closet. Living double lives. Placing others in harm’s way because they are too afraid to embrace their sexuality.

It’s 2012. If you are GAY STAND UP AND BE PROUD. If you are HOMOPHOBIC; you might want to check yourself before you WRECK YOURSELF. THINK ABOUT IT!

Read More about Roland Martin’s Suspension on the Huffington Post.

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The Art of Conversation is an alternative to the traditional forms of entertainment to bring people together while incorporating networking, social activity, and philanthropy.

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Who should I LOVE more: Mama or Wifey?

It’s funny how there are certain questions in life that you never think about until you have to. I found myself faced with one of those questions the other day: Who do I love more my mama or my wife?

Read the rest at The Lovers Rocque

The Art of Conversation

The Art of Conversation is an alternative to the traditional forms of entertainment to bring people together while incorporating networking, social activity, and philanthropy.

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Ladies Who DATE!

Have you ever noticed how the moment someone gets married, all of a sudden they become an expert on relationships and dating?  Really, it’s as if married people suddenly have all of the answers and their single friends seek their advice.  Well, I am here as your newly minted non-expert!  When it comes to dating, I have definitely had my share of troubles and triumphs.   But I’m not writing this as a relationship guru.  I’m writing this for the ladies who date.

Read more: Ladies who Date!

The Art of Conversation

The Art of Conversation is an alternative to the traditional forms of entertainment to bring people together while incorporating networking, social activity, and philanthropy.


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How to Have an Affair- From a Woman’s Point of View

How to Have an Affair- From a Woman’s Point of View

Let me first start by saying I do not condone cheating, but I think if you are going to do it, then do it right.  First, men often get caught cheating because they lose interest and or stop paying attention to their mate.  So, remain consistent.  Don’t stop having sex.  Continue to do the things that you did before the desire to cheat arose.

Read the rest on Toy Closet NYC

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Did you know MEAN people make more $$$$?

Yesterday afternoon, I was working on my twitter presence and came across this interesting article by the WSJ: Hey You! Mean People Earn More, Study Finds.

According to the article, “That agreeable workers earn significantly lower incomes than less agreeable ones. The gap is especially wide for men.”

One of our friends suggested that the study might have confused the concept of being “aggressive” as being mean.

Mean is defined as:

1. The state of being inferior in quality, character, or value; commonness.
2. The quality or state of being selfish or stingy.
3. A spiteful or malicious act.

Aggressive is defined as:

1. Inclined to behave in an actively hostile fashion: an aggressive regime.
2. Assertive, bold, and energetic: an aggressive sales campaign.

The researchers examined “agreeableness” using self-reported survey data and found that men who measured below average on agreeableness earned about 18% more—or $9,772 more annually in their sample—than nicer guys. Ruder women, meanwhile, earned about 5% or $1,828 more than their agreeable counterparts.

The researchers analyzed data collected over nearly 20 years from three different surveys, which sampled roughly 10,000 workers comprising a wide range of professions, salaries and ages. (The three surveys measured the notion of “agreeableness” in different ways.) They also conducted a separate study of 460 business students who were asked to act as human-resource managers for a fictional company and presented with short descriptions for candidates for a consultant position. Men who were described as highly agreeable were less likely to get the job.

For men being agreeable may not conform “to expectations of ‘masculine behavior,'” the researchers write in the study. People who are more agreeable may also be less willing to assert themselves in salary negotiations, Dr. Livingston adds.

Other research shows that rudeness may not always benefit employees or their firms. A paper presented earlier this month at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association found that 86% of 289 workers at three Midwestern firms in the manufacturing and health-care industries reported incivility at work, including public reprimands and making demeaning comments. Incivility was bad for the organizations as a whole, though, increasing employee turnover, found the researchers, Jeannie Trudel, a business professor at Indiana Wesleyan University-Marion, and Thomas Reio, a professor at Florida International University.

“The problem is, many managers often don’t realize they reward disagreeableness,” says Dr. Livingston. “You can say this is what you value as a company, but your compensation system may not really reflect that, especially if you leave compensation decisions to individual managers.”

Lockerz, a 65-person Seattle, Wash., social-commerce company, has what it calls a “no jerks and divas” policy that is stressed in its employee handbook and orientation, says Chief Executive and founder Kathy Savitt. She notes, though, that there is a difference between being respectful and being agreeable. “We are not about being ‘nice’ or ‘agreeable’ or ‘civil,'” she says. “We have a lot of robust debates about all kinds of things. But we do stress the notion of being respectful.”

Paul Purcell, chairman, president and chief executive of Robert W. Baird & Co., a Milwaukee financial-services firm, says that his 2,700-employee company “doesn’t hire or tolerate jerks. That’s frankly a large percentage of people in our business. They don’t get through the interview process.” The firm has fired at least 25 offenders of its “no-jerk” policy, he says.

Human-resources consulting firm Development Dimensions International, of Pittsburgh, offers courses in “Interaction Management,” covering interpersonal skills such as teamwork, managing conflict and giving and receiving feedback. “They are very trainable skills,” says Jim Davis, DDI’s vice president of work force and service development, who says that its interaction-training business is up 20% so far this year. ~Above is from the WSJ.

So on the surface it looks like mean people win. I suggest that AGGRESSIVE people WIN. Do we confuse the meaning of the words of aggressive and mean? Or do you think the mean person will always win?

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